Ok, I've been trying to find a show that we can go and see in Edinburgh before the festival ends. I was thinking, if anyone is up for it, we should go either this Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. I looked up a few I thought looked ok so comment if you like the sound of any.

The Gaydar Diaries

James Smiley: Public School Twat

Lucy Porter - The Good Life

We Don't Have Husbands

I don't know when everyone is free and not working etc., but I REALLY want to see something at the festival before it finishes!

Anyone who has recently tried to contact me via my mobile phone, sorry I haven't replied/answered - I've lost my phone charger. Unfortunately due to my phone being a reject phone of the first water I can't find anyone to lend me a phone charger so I'm not really sure what I'm going to do.
I'm also working SIX DAYS A WEEK, 9 TO 5! At Campbell's, which is a rather bizarre school uniform shop on Victoria Road which hasn't changed in 60 years. All this makes me a big uncontactable, and also completely lacking in a day-time social life, but never mind.

I just found a fake trailer for 'Titanic: The Sequel' on YouTube and was very confused for about an hour, trying to figure out how Jack Dawson being found frozen in a big block of ice at the bottom of the sea, being brought to the surface, defrosted and then having to exist in the 21st century, a la Austin Powers, could be a plausible plot line for a Hollywood movie. I then noticed the caption at the side saying it was a fake trailer, and after much discussion with my mum, realised it must just be lots of clips from other films compiled together to make it look like an film trailer, and yes, I know - I'm so slow and guillable - but it's SO realistic! It has all these famous actors in it and it's so well edited it really looks like it's an actual film.
Heehee, in the trailer, Leonardo DiCaprio goes to see - I kid you not - 'Titanic: The Musical' and gets a tad emotional and offended by it all. You never thought of that DID YOU HEATHER?! That an unfrozen survivor of the Titanic could come and see your musical and be deeply upset and offended by it!! Jeez - so insensitve!!
So anyways, watch the trailer (unless everyone else already knows about it and I'm just really slow on the uptake) - it's hilarious!

Joanne was upset there was no David Tennant icons so here are some:



I hope you appreciate all this Joanne!
I'm so upset I missed Paul Bettany on t4 AND Jonathan Ross - nobody recorded either did they?

Oh I do love Top Gear. I just watched the one where they try to make amphibious cars and end up standing on top of sinking cars in the middle of a big lake. And I swear, the image of Jeremy Clarkston reading Gay Times on a mini van converted into a longboat will haunt me forever...
I also love William Moseley. And Paul Bettany. And James McAvoy. And Will Young.  And Cedric. Thats why I found/made lots of icons of them, because I am a sad, obsessed person with nothing better to do with my time:



God, how CUTE is William Moseley, I just want to eat him in a non-canabilistic way.

I finally managed to upload some pictures of the kitten on to my laptop, so here they are...





Oh he's just so cute!

Ooh I have my Physics Higher exam today - I'm muchos scared. Though I suppose I only need a C in it for Edinburgh Vet School so hopefully I can get at least that.
What's happened recently. Well, there was the last day of school which was very sad but everyone has already posted loads about that so I won't go into detail. Oh and Sam's party which was very good, despite have the people being struck down with river fever.
The rest of the time I have just been revising and playing with the kitten! He is so unbelievably cute. Last night I came into the kitchen and found him curled up asleep in my dad's violin case! And this morning he has been tight-rope walking on our pulley-clothes-line-thingy but he keep falling off and landing in piles of washing! I have so many other kitten stories (like him leaping off the sofa and landing in the bin!) but I shall try and restrain myself!
We're still not sure what to call him. We want something kind of quirky I think. Mum wants to call him Tizer, my brother wants to call him Titus (Roman guy - son of Brutus) and I quite like Oscar (ok, not very quirky I know, but it's still a nice name).
Good news about my prom dress. My grandma says she will try and alter and repair it, because the tailors said they couldn't. I really hope she can manage it because I really want to wear it!

I got my kitten:D:D:D Contrary to my last entry it isn't the little black and white female kitten from the Vets we got. Instead we got a ginger-striped and white male one from one of my teachers. He is actually the cutest thing I have even seen. He looks like a tiny, adorable tiger with a white tummy:D Any suggestion for a name? Obviously Masie is out the window now...

I'm afraid I have been very shoddy with my updating I'm afraid. So many fab things have happened since I last updated: the 6TH YEAR SHOW!!, all staying over at Sam's (I'm trying to avoid the word 'sleepover' or worse, 'slumber party'), great trips to Sir Jakes, getting tickets to see the Eels - yay! - but being to bloody slow to get tickets to see Dirty Pretty Things:( Oh well, they are playing at T in the Park:D Ooh and I managed to take the cutest pictures of the kitten we are getting. Her mother is sort of like the resident cat at the Vets I work at so I have been able to see her grow up from a tiny baby! She's three weeks old now so she's just opened her eyes - expect lots of pictures posted in the near future! I think we have decided to call her Maisie, as in Maisie the Scottish cat from the kids books.

Ooh I really want to go and see 'Confetti' this weekend - it looks really funny and it has such good people in it, like the guy from Green Wing and a couple of people from Peep Show.

I've had a rather good Easter so far. First of all there was the west highland way which, as I have already said, was fab. Then I started at the zoo which was good - they have an amazing range of animals. Then of course we all went prom dress shopping which was great fun, although I didn't buy anything on that day. Ooh, and then we ate ourselves silly on Shenaz's yummy homemade food for her 19th birthday and had a bit of a soaps catch-up. It was off to ANOTHER birthday party the next day - Jamie's 18th which was brilliant. Again, with the eating ourselves silly - but this time it was at Ding's for a chinese buffet which was yummy. Then we went back to his and ate some more and watched Mulan:D
Ooh and also on the same day, before Jamie's, Joanne and I went on a very small but very successful shopping trip - mostly to Mr. Ben's. Joanne got the NICEST brown bag and I got - SHOCK HORROR! - my prom dress! It's nice I think - it's all sort of sea-foam greeny-blue lacey, with a bodice and long skirt - I think it is quite old and it was only TWELVE POUNDS!! BARGAIN!   
I also had a nice time at my Grandma's 80th birthday party, in the hall at Maxwell Park - it was so nice seeing all my Grandma's old friends from Aberdeen who me and my cousins really like, but haven't seen for ages. She also had the most phenomenal cake from a Sicilian bakers in Edinburgh - it was MASSIVE and covered in cream and exotic fruit:)
Then their was Johnny's (Mr. Quinn) play...It was a bloody great night out - I can't remember the last time I've ever laughed so much - but what to say about Johnny's play...Let's just say it involved a woman who was in love with a bull, men dressed up as pigs and possibly the most disturbing monologue I have ever seen in my life!
This was the picture on the programme:

And this is the link if anyone is desperate to see what they are missing....Beast.
But it was great fun anyway - my personal highlight of the evening was when the lead singer of the house band (who were all dressed as monkeys) took a bit of a fancy to Cat and started serenading her in a most disturbing manner - it was mostly just wailing actually but there was definitely a few 'Caaaaaaat's in there!
Look:

That is the exact monkey who fell in love with Cat - he ever tried to follow her to the toilet. Although I suspect Ms. Sinclair had something to do with the whole thing - I think she told monkey-man that Cat fancied him because then another crazy man came over and tried to interview her about it except he was holding an upside-down drumstick instead of a microphone....
It was also incredibly funny when this huge poster (it was roughly 6ft) Cat and I were leaning against fell on top of us (well actually I think Heather had something to do with it), completely somthering us while also making us look like crazy people who had been acidentally released from hospital after being admitted for a severe paper fetish.
Only a lighter note, it was also nice to see Hélène again - she was our French assistant in 5th year and she was working behind the bar at the Arches - she is still so nice and smiley and odd-of-hairstyle.

Ok everyone, Joanne and I were talking about Paris and we decided we HAVE to have a meeting on Wednesday. So - 7.30pm at the Beanscene this Wednesday. If you are coming to Paris PLEASE try to be there.
I was looking at Ryanair flights and if we left on Friday the 23rd of June (is that the right date? Am I right in thinking Heather was doing something on the 22nd? Have I even got the right MONTH?) it would be £39.99 if we left early morning and only £29.99 if we left in the afternoon. It would be even better if we could leave the day before as then the price is only £19.99 but I'm sure someone said Heather was doing something important then. Also, none of these prices include tax, which is about £13 extra each way which is a bit of a bastard.
Leave a comment if you have suggestions etc. or if I have got this all wrong.

I have a great weekend so far. On Saturday I attempted to revise for a bit in the morning the went riding. Riding was suprisingly enjoyable given I was on this horse I hadn't ridden for ages and who I don't usually get on with very well. However, we were doing some doubles and bounces (those are kinds of jumps) and King does enjoy his jumping (he gets very excited and gallops about wildly) so we had a lot of fun.
Then I we went to Paul's new house (which, I kid you not, is called 'Costa Lotta'!!) which was very very fun. We ate a lot of junk food and watched the latest Harry Potter film which was rather hilarious and it seemed (to us) very innuendo-filled. Also very Cedric filled - hubba hubba!
I then woke up very grumpy (bloody clocks going back!), gave my mum her mother's day present and then did a spot of revising again (Biology prelim tomorrow - aargh!) and now I am just back from lunch with my extended family at the Tramway which was lovely. I got to see my lovely cousin Emma AND had a yummy all day veggie breakfast!

Oh dear, due to our internet constantly breaking I haven't updated in AGES, even though so much has happened.
Firstly, there was 'Paul Merton and his Improv Chums' which bloody brilliant, providing me with such quotes as 'When you're watch stops - tapdance!' and...other delightful things I can't remeber. Then we all waited outside the stage door like crazed sad sacks to get Paul Merton's autograph. Eventually he came out and I figured I couldn't very well force all my friends to wait this long and then lose my nerve so I sort of, trotted up to him, in a very elegant and attractive way and asked him for his autograph which he was extremely pleasant about and happily obliged - it was the best moment of my life - FACT and NO JOKE.

There he is looking lovely in his Angus-Deayton-piss-taking t-shirt
Then their was Aly's which was fun and rather crazy. I felt pretty crap when I got up at 6am the next morning so I wasn't completely devastated to hear the roads to the zoo were impassable so I couldn't go.
Then, after a rather stressful week at school what with Biology and Chemistry investigations and a Chemistry prelim, I went down to Ayr to do a spot of lambing, which was fab. Staying with my cousins was good fun as usual, and it was great having Helen (one of my cousins who wants to be a Vet) lambing with me. In between pulling out soggy lambs and wrestling sheep to the ground we even found time to adopt two orphaned lambs - Albert and Geoffery.
Now I am re-stressed again due to the two investigation write-ups that are due on Friday and the Biology prelim the following Monday. My Chemistry experiment is going slightly pear-shaped - I have managed to eventually grow the crystals but I forgot I need a way of identifying their structures. Does anyone have an x-ray crystallography machine?

Wow...well this weekend was quite possibly the MOST boring of my life. APART from Jamie's on Friday which was brilliant - we watched Disney movies all night. We watched Beauty & The Beast and The Little Mermaid - both actually amazing films. I love the songs in those films so much especially 'Part of your world', 'Under the sea', 'Beauty & the beast', 'Be our guest', 'Kiss the girl' and 'Belle'.
Although we did discover something rather shocking - if you look at the priest, who marries Ariel and her man, he has an erection!

It's really quite disturbing (but hilarious - we nearly had to resuscitate Sam).
On Saturday, I studied for over SIX HOURS. Which was incredibly boring but quite productive. I then babysat for my cousins. Then today AGAIN I studied all day and then babysat for my neighbour - I am just a big babysitting MACHINE. I also buried my poor wee Mojo:( (that's my rat before anyone sets the police on me). I made him a nice little headstone and buried him in the garden...although I did have to dig him up again because I didn't realise you weren't meant to bury the box as well...
I can't wait until next weekend - Paul Merton AND Aly/Kim's party! And then possibly lambing the weekend after that which will also be brilliant:D

Aargh - our bloody internet has been broken so I haven't updated in ages even though SO much stuff has happened. First of all, Cheryl's murder mystery party which I have to say was a triumph. I was Babs Crayfish(!) - a rather stupid floozy and the girlfriend of Alan (i.e. 'Champagne' Charlie). My accent was pretty amazing though - it sort of fluctuated between a London chimmney sweep and a sort of Tess of the D'Urbervilles figure. It was also rather hilarious walking to Cheryl's and back in fancy dress. Then on Sunday it was my birthday party! Which went rather well (I think). We had our 'Urban Scavenge' (which for the last time, has NOTHING to do with looking through bins for used needles). Upsettingly, my team was beaten, but that was obviously just because my mum (who was judging) didn't want to show partiality.
We had to find:
1) A postcard with a white Scottie dog on it
2) A reel of orange thread
3) A chocolate doughnut
4) A cat toy
5) A cucumber face mask
6) A superhero comic
7) Something in bad taste (and a reason for why ours was the most distasteful item)
We had some crackers for the bad taste items - a rather explicit naked man card with a badge saying 'Gagging For A Shagging' on it, a disgusting piercing calender and a rather strange DVD which I won't expand on for fear of giving people the wrong idea. Then we went to a Japanese noodle café called Ichiban on Queen's Street which has the most AMAZING food and is very reasonably priced. After that, it was back to my house where we watched films (like Four Weddings and a Funeral and Pride &  Prejudice - both CLEARLY amazing movies) and put our cucumber face packs on. I have actually just looked at the pictures of my party - in the ones where I am blowing out the candles on my cake (while wearing my face mask and in hysterics) I look like I have been gassed and am MELTING all over the cake.
Then on Monday after school, Paul, Judy and I went to a book signing/reading thing by Lousie Rennison who wrote, among others, these books:

Which, despite appearances, are genuinely hilarious. Anyways, the whole thing was very surreal because there was only 6 other people there so we all gathered round in a circle while she chatted away to us and asked us who we thought should be in the film of her books (which is being filmed this summer). She was SO friendly and familiar it was crazy. I have often wondered how she managed to portray teenager humour so well - turns out she isn't - the books are practically an autobiography and everyone in them are her actual friends and actual things she did when she was younger.
Then today mostly consisted of doing the yearbook polls and then Shenaz and I went to a Save The Children meeting about organising a campaign against the detention of child refugees in detention centres - it all sounds really interesting and we have decided on loads of stuff we are going to do like stalls and petitions.

Ok everyone - I think I have decided what I am going to do for my birthday. It will be on Sunday (I know I said Saturday Joanne but I think I shall make it Sunday) the 26th of February. We shall have my urban scavenger hunt (cool name eh?!) from 12 - 2ish then meet, with all the things we have managed to get, somewhere where we can have lunch - did someone mention a new noodle bar which wasn't to expensive (was it you Paul?). Then after that anyone who wants to could come back to mine just to watch films and eat crap.
Please, PLEASE tell me if anyone has any problems with anything I have said (ie. what we are doing or when it is).

I MIGHT GET TO WORK IN A ZOO!! I am so so so excited about it. It all happened because one of the women I am friendly with at Tollcross Farm has got a job as head keeper at this brand new small zoo in West Lothian and she asked the guy who runs it if I could volunteer and he said yes!! They have an amazing variety of animals - lemurs, otters, meerkats, TAMARIN MONKEYS(!!)

(and other sorts of monkeys I don't know the name of), skunks, prairie dogs, marbled polecats, african pygmy hedgehogs, Egyptian jerboas, red squirrels, lizards, snakes, frogs, tropical insects, lemmings, sugar gliders, golden eagle, owls, tropical birds and farm yard animals to name but just a few!! Laura says it is a lovely place with beautiful big enclosures, and the do a lot of breeding of endagered animals which will be AMAZING to see. Aaaargh - I'm so excited - A ZOO!! WITH MONKEYS!! Hopefully I will start the Sunday after next. Although it does mean I will have to get up at 6ish to catch the train (the zoo is near Edinburgh) but hey! It will be worth it! Ok sorry, I shall stop ranting and lising.
Another happy topic is that we got vetted today by the Cat Protection League and they deemed us fit to keep (another) cat so we will get a kitten as soon as they have them!!
What did I do this weekend? On Friday, Heather, Joanne, Judy, Adele and I tried to get into Campus but we were knocked back so we went to some Witherspoons pub and had nacho-eating, disurbing conversation filled evening.
Then on Saturday I revised, went riding and then shopped for birthday presents for me!:D In the evening we went to see Casanova which incredibly historically inaccurate (with such phrases as 'Oh tit!') but was much fun with the slightly scrummy Heath Ledger in it.

Aaargh - my cousin is asking me if I want to go to T In The Park, but the problem is I have to tell her tonight because the tickets go on sale tomorrow! She is going to get them tomorrow morning and if I wait any longer they will all sell out! I don't know what to do because I have been desperate to go to a festival this summer but it is so much money (£115) to spend when I need to be saving for prom/prom dress/yearbook/6th year holiday! Mind you it is considerably cheaper that Leeds and it looks a reasonably good line up so far...I don't know!! Give me advice!! Is anyone else going??

Well I returned from Loch Otter Shit in one piece (well not quite actually - I left my nice new coat and scarf there:( - but they sent it to us:D). The holiday was very fun, although my revising went slightly to pot. On Monday I attempted to study, then Joanne (who was covering for Anna M.) and I were filing. It was ok actually - I thought because Joanne had never done it before we would be there until like midnight (which has actually happened previously) BUT we finished around 10.30 which was great.
Then on Tuesday (Valentine's Day), Judy twisted my arm and made me come into town AGAINST MY WILL with her and Paul. It was filled with muchos fun and hyperness and a unsurprising amount of swearing at happy couples and feel like old, single, bitter spinsters. Then in the evening we went to see Memoirs Of A Geisha which was lovely - it is so sad, and has rather paedophilic undertones but it is all so pretty it doesn't matter.
Then on Wednesday I had a boring but productive day of studying (6 hours!), practicing saxophone and cleaning out my smelly old man rat (as he was christened by Ross).
Back to school today which was all ok - again got slightly hyper in PSE with Judy and ended up talking a lot about Hollyoaks (OMG Justin and Becca! Andy with his big pole and raping!!) and anal jelly...but we won't go into that...